The
Tarnish of the Electoral College
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/16/opinion/the-tarnish-of-the-electoral-college.html
Many debate over whether or not the
Electoral College should be kept in practice.
Some believe it to be unfair while others think it is
representational. The article “The
Tarnish of the Electoral College”, proposes that the Electoral College should
be revised through the use of diction, details and syntax.
The author’s intent is to
persuade readers against the use of the Electoral College. When the author uses words such as defective
and abolished to describe the system, it is clear that he is not pleased with
how we elect our president. These words
are harsh and have definite meanings suggesting a strong disgust in our
system. As readers see these negative
words describing our voting system, then they are more likely to turn against
or at least view the Electoral College in a negative light.
Through the use of details the
readers is informed that the two major parties only call for reform when the
Electoral College votes for the opponent.
When it is written how the Sun Belt is rising and Democratic states were
losing population, the author suggests that the only reason Republicans were in
support for the system. Where as when
younger individuals, Hispanics, and African-Americans had a rising population
in in states such as “Nevada, Colorado, and Virginia” the Democrats were
pleased the Electoral College. Due to
the parties only supporting this system when it is in their favor suggests the
need for reform because it is not operating in a way that benefits all.
Syntax is also used to show
the flaws in the Electoral College. When
the author writes, “The problems with the Electoral College—born in the
appeasement to slave states…” the use of separating the later part of the
sentence emphasizes how the Electoral College is in place because of our
horrible past of slavery. By holding
onto the Electoral College, we are in essence, holding onto slavery.
From the use of word choice,
the details chosen to describe why parties like the Electoral College, and the
structure of certain sentences support the author’s claim that the voting
process needs reform. The article
clearly suggests that the electoral process is not just and in order to be a
true democratic nation our election process needs to be more representative.
Add adjectives to your thesis. Tell me what KIND of details, diction, and syntax. It will make your essay more specific and thus more clear.
ReplyDeletePut your evidence in quotes ("defective"). For diction, I would probably analyze a bit more, but I do think that you covered it well enough.
For details, I would make your concluding sentence and analysis more addressed to how the reader views the piece. After all, that's WHY the author uses these details, right?
Same thing goes for syntax.
I like how you talked about it separating the sentence for emphasis; I don't think I would've caught that !
Your conclusion should probably be a bit longer and include SOME specifics about word diction, details, syntax.
Other than that, good post!
In your second paragraph, I would also recommend that you put your examples of diction in quotation marks.
ReplyDeleteIn your third paragraph, please watch out for some grammatical errors. You could have said: "When it is written how the... the author suggests that THIS IS the only reason Republicans were in support for the system." It just caused your sentence to sound a little off. Check the last sentence of that paragraph as well.
I also agree with Sam that your conclusion should have some details about your points to bring your close reading to a... close.
Odd thing to point out, but the thesis statement "... proposes that the Electoral College should be revised through the use of diction, details and syntax" is a little unclear, as it kind of sounds like you're saying that the Electoral College should be revised with the use of DIDLS.
ReplyDeleteYou used very good evidence from the article for your analysis! The syntax especially was well thought out, and I wouldn't have thought of that. That's very manipulative of the author, very interesting.